I Was Robbed

And Wells Fargo Is a Huge Asshole

Hi. I have a new op-ed out at the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “‘Close Reading’ Is a Solution for Students Looking to Live a Good Life.” In it, I note that the right has a monopoly on alternatives to neoliberal education policy through the classical education movement and university civics centers. I argue that the left should not cede the good life to the right. I’m happy to share the essay with anyone who cannot access it through the link if you message me.

But also a funny thing happened.

Almost two years ago, I was robbed by someone who really loves Checkers, the fast food drive-thru chain.

I was on a wilderness canoe trip when Wells Fargo notified me of unusual activity on my debit card. I returned to civilization to find that someone had somehow counterfeited my card—I still held the physical thing—withdrew $1000, spent hundreds more at Autozone, and ate at Checkers. I canceled the card and changed my checking account. Two weeks later, my new debit card, for my new checking account, was, disturbingly, counterfeited by, spending habits DEFINITELY suggest, the same person. The second time, this person again withdrew $1000, spent hundreds more at Autozone, and ate at Checkers. This time also they wrote a $250 check—one of my checks, so they’d stolen those—to “Kush.”

Wells Fargo, at first, only covered the $250 check, leaving me out about $4000. I spent many, many hours on the phone with various people who finally explained to me that, according to Wells Fargo, counterfeiting a debit card is so thoroughly difficult, that they simply didn’t believe me, and thought I was trying to defraud them. I was obviously pissed. I kept calling and I cannot say that I, in the end, acquitted myself graciously.

I also wrote to the FDIC, which did, in the end, lead to Wells Fargo covering, for some reason, just one of the two robberies, getting about $2000 back to me. But I was never able to recover the other $2000. Finally, I gave up. Time passed. I forgot about it, more or less.

Until a few days ago. An unusual looking envelope came in the mail for me from Wells Fargo Customer Care’s remediation department. I opened it:

“Subject: Check for the former Wells Fargo account ending in XXXX

Dear DANIEL N SINYKIN,

We identified that after a review of your account, you are owed additional funds for your previously submitted claim. To address this, we are enclosing a check for $1.00. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.”

Motherfuckers.